I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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