what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
