For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
