You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
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I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
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I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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