just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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