remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.