I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
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Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
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not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas