im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My bed smells like the plague
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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