There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
