can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
