the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
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Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize