1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
