just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
