there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
