I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
