My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
