his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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