I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
