'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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