If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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