I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
