I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
and she was petting her beer can
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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