i would punch a child for taco bell
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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