Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
