this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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