did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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