Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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