Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
