I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
They have beer where we have blood.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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