I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
