The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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