I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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