I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I looked at my own cervix.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
