Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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