3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
