I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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