He is an equal opportunity slut.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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