I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize