It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
