It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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