Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
