made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
