hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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