is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
