would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Is it penis luge time yet?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
