I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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