be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
No stitches, just platelets and will power
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
