this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
