OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
