garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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