For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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