Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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