next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I love you.
Bad choice
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
