just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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