There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
