Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
