ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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