I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
