I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
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I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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