just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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