I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
