...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
