he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
