Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
