wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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