So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
