hell yes lets make some ravioli
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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