I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
