Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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