Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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