Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
