A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
