you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
