Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I want a musical about memes.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
