she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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