having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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